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on stage, all he wanted to do was scratch.
it was a strange sensation for adrian, to want to abandon his performance and work, and hide away somewhere to dismiss the tattoos kiki had kindly inked on to his skin, to expose real flesh and blood underneath. the moment he was done with his monologue, adrian had raced off the stage, not staying to dramatically and wholeheartedly accept the love of his audience like usual. he broke a few hearts in the process by doing that, those that were used to him lingering around to accept gifts and roses, but he really could not go around apologizing now, could he?
the thespian was unusually on edge, much more anxious than he was about his condition. it was not just his wrists that he was itching to scratch, but to tear the skin and muscles from his head too to expose the skull underneath. he crouched down outside the theater, his head in his hands, adrian more confused than terrified at the moment. it never really extended to being beyond his wrists, but it was a lot stronger this time, urging him to finally just cut himself loose from this world, and become the skeleton that he was always meant to be.
he blinked at the touch of a friendly hand on his shoulder, and he looked up, raising his eyebrows. "oh, hello," adrian smiled as he greeted them. "i know exactly what you are going to ask, so before you do ask it, i am fine." he was lying, of course, having become quite adept to it whenever it came to his condition. his face was straight, his smile pleasant, teeth white. "i hope you enjoyed the performance?"
adrian was not too sure how he was going to explain his predicament to just anyone, but seeing kaia made his heart warm a little. the blonde was great. she was his fellow actress, and they had worked together on occasion, performing together. adrian liked her. she was lovely, very quirky, and didn't really have a bone to pick with anyone. who knew, she might actually be the right person to talk about this. besides his family, and andy, and kiki, no one else really knew about his obsession to want to die. it was so much stronger than before, and he was reacting to it so vigorously, the skeleton in him itching to scratch more and more.
he chuckled. "you wouldn't believe me, anyway." he never really bothered telling, knowing that people were likely going to write him off as going out of his mind. he was already batty, at least in his opinion, more quirky than most. on the bright side, he had a fair amount of friends due to his sociable, chatty nature. "but i'm really glad you enjoyed my performance! i live to please." what sort of thespian would he be if he did not give it his all all the time?
"but how have you been?" absentmindedly, adrian pulled the sleeves of his costume up, revealing the faint scratches on his wrist. without much conscious effort, he began to pick at them, before realizing what exactly he was doing. he hurriedly moved his hands away, and shoved them into his pocket, fidgeting as though the bones in him were moving, and were vying to rid themselves of the skin that enveloped them. "maybe you should have performed with me tonight. you would have made a fine juliet."
she was insistent that she would believe him. adrian didn't doubt her, not really. kaia has not let him down even after all this time, despite his trash talking and occasional macabre topics. the blonde was always willing to lend a listening ear to him, even if he was yakking nonsense. she seemed always entertained somehow for some reason, and he wondered how she put up with him on a regular basis. she was a darling, such a dear to everyone she came across. he grinned widely when she said that she had indeed enjoyed his performance, giving her a little bow. "thank you, thank you. it's always good to hear that from friends." and guests alike. adrian loved the attention and compliments he received from being in the spotlight. he lived for them.
"i'll put in a good word for you! then you just come in for the audition," he went on, beaming. he liked working with kaia, she was always up for giving him constructive criticism for his performances too, and him vice versa. oh, the company knew kaia alright, bur he was always willing to gush about her to ensure she got the role. of course, the decision at the end of the day always ended up with the directors and executives blah blah but kaia was always perfect for everything, at least to the biased adrian.
adrian blinked. "i dunno? i've just been having these super weird dreams lately." and then he found himself opening up more and more, because this was kaia, and she wouldn't judge him for this, right? no one really asked about his wellbeing, they just assumed that he was fine, and left it at that. adrian hadn't really cared about that, but now he realized just how much her concern meant to him. "like i'm supposed to be dead. like how i'm actually a skeleton." he began to play with his fingers, cracking and clicking them, still fidgeting. "it's been even worse as of late."
THERE AIN'T NO REST FOR THE WICKED
kaia agape argyris
adrian grinned, and snorted. "i don't do bad performances, dear. they're always the best." never would he falter on stage unless he was sick, but even when he was, he didn't push himself to set foot on it. no, he'd much rather be replaced than give the world a shitty performance that would be branded into their head for the rest of their lives. he didn't think that he would be able to accept the embarrassment. the boy was too proud for that, always wanting to bring the best out of himself and his character whenever he was on stage. he beamed at kaia, clearly happy at the flattery and praise that poured forth from her mouth. what a sweetheart.
"hey, us actors gotta help each other out." frankly, he was selfish, and usually couldn't give a rat's ass about other actors that weren't as good as him, but the difference was that he cared and liked kaia. to have someone that entertained the shit talking that he liked to do, or threw flowers alongside the audience whenever he was performing...adrian was inclined to bend over backwards for kaia. he didn't really have very many friends, understandably so, but he did like to call kaia as one of his own. he would do anything for her, anything at all...maybe a step lower than her boyfriend's, but he definitely would.
the thespian chuckled. she and everyone else. not once has anyone encouraged him to go back and be a skeleton, but he couldn't help himself from continuously thinking about it. it just felt so right. "yeah? it sounds really great, though. but wait, you dream that you were dead, too? were you a skeleton, too?" he would have expected it from someone like kaia, since she did think of things like that too, sometimes. of the macabre, just like him. "i want to scratch more," admitted adrian. "my girlfriend's tattoos have helped...but..." raising his arms, he pushed his sleeves back to reveal fresh scratch marks visible among the colours of the tattoos. "...yeah."
having her affirm that he indeed gave his audience killer performances every time made the young man beam happily. confident as he was the his best was always the best, it felt nice to hear it from kaia's mouth herself...even if she was generally a nice, sweet person in the first place. a little morbid, but definitely a darling. adrian looked out for kaia instinctively and unconsciously, a rare feat given how self-absorbed he tended to get in his own career. he couldn't help it when it came to the blonde, always maintaining constant contact with her to see how she was doing. he vaguely knew of her own demons, but never asked about them, not wanting to set anything unwanted of. besides, she looked as though she had enough on her plate already without him bringing that up.
more skeletal than skeleton? it was close enough. adrian leaned forward a little more, clearly interested in what she had to say. he has always been interested in the morbid and the macabre, and kaia was always willing to to contribute in such talks. honestly, it made opening up to her all the more easier. it felt good to get this off his chase, and to hear that she had something similar made it much better. he noted kaia's suggestions, and nodded slowly. that could...that could really work. something to fiddle with whenever he got the itch to scratch. the tattoos helped, but he knew what was real, and what was not. true bone lay underneath sinew and muscle beneath his skin.
"that could....actually work. thank you, kaia," admitted adrian, pulling his sleeves back down. it was worth a shot, sceptical he was about it. it would not exactly heal the whole need to scratch thing, but it would keep his fingers before from mutilating himself. hey, it wasn't as if he liked doing it. once he started, he didn't want to stop no matter how much pain he was in. "but tell me more about your skeletal self! i'd like to hear about that."