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Robert "Bobby" Seaton Porifera
> 28 > He/Him/His > Ethan Slater
personalfull name > Robert Seaton Porifera
Bobbypronouns > He/Him/His
gender > Male
age > 28
birthday > July 14th, 1989
hometown > Long Beach, California
education > High School Diploma
languages > English
occupation > Cook at Jake's Cafe
member group> Animus
spirit> Spongebob Squarepants
movie> Spongebob Squarepants
request? > No
family & platonicparents >
Harold and Margaret Poriferasibling(s) >
Hahahahaha no.other >
Beatrice Buble, grandmother (maternal)pets >
relationshipssexual orientation > Asexual
romantic orientation > Homoromantic
marital status > Single
Various crushes, but nothing serious
personalityfavorite film > "Batman (1966)"
favorite tv show > "Batman (1966-1968)"
favorite book > "Captain Underpants" by Dav Pilkey
favorite song > "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina & the Waves
favorite emoji >
favorite color > Yellow
“Could you please stop shaking the seat, sir?”
“I’m sorry! I can’t help it! Today’s my first day of work and I’m just so excited, you know?”
“I know. You’ve already mentioned it to me five times now.”
The poor stranger buried his face in his hands as the man sitting next to him on the bus kept fidgeting like a five year old on Christmas morning, which naturally meant he was still shaking the seat.
“I can’t wait to get in there and rev up those fryers! And ovens. And stoves. Gosh, there’ll be so much more to do now that I’m not just a fry cook! Time to put all of those years of practical training to good use! The taste buds of San Diego aren’t going to know what hit them!”
“All my friends call me Bobby,”
“Alright, Bobby. Look, I know you’re excited but-“
“Oh, just think of the new experiences! I’m new to San Diego, you know. Long Beach born and raised! If only Mom and Pop could see me now! They always cheered me on, especially when I got my first fry cook job! Oh! That was the best job ever! Until this one of course-“
“Are you seriously telling me your life story now?”
“Ahahahaha!” The stranger winced as Bobby let out a loud, obnoxious laugh. “Now why would I do something like that? Unless you wanted me to, so you could appreciate the whole picture!” A look of realization rushed over the man’s features, and his bright eyes widened. “Oohhhhhh, you sly dog!” Bobby smirked and waggled a finger at his bus companion. “That’s exactly what you want, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not-“
“Well, here goes nothing!” Bobby’s captive audience let out a loud groan and slouched back against his bus seat. This did nothing to stop Bobby’s enthusiastic blathering. “Let’s see… Like I said, I was born in Long Beach, California, raised by two loving parents, graduated from high school, and immediately got a job as fry cook at the best restaurant in the world; The Pirate’s Plunder!”
“Sounds like a high end joint,” the other man muttered sarcastically, staring at the ceiling.
“It was the best!” Bobby squealed unironically. “We were responsible for feeding all the tourists, got to wear pirate costumes every day… We even sang sea shanties to the guests sometimes! Like this! OHHHHHH-“ The other man sat up as fast as a bolt of lightning and put his hand on Bobby’s shoulder.
“You don’t need to sing. I believe you,” he said with the utmost seriousness. “Let me guess; seafood tourist trap?”
“It’s not a trap if they want to be there,” Bobby wagged his finger at the man.
“Anyway, it was my first real fry cook job! I loved every second of it! I ate, slept, and breathed that place! It became a part of me! Especially that one time I put my arm on the hot fryer and burned some of the skin on my arm off. Then it really did become a part of me! Wanna see?”
“It really was a good job though. Nothing quite like putting a smile on people’s faces. Our company phrase might as well been ‘There’s no real pirate’s treasure like a golden smile from the customer’! That’s what it was for me, at least,” Bobby sighed wistfully. He leaned back and stared off into the distance, thinking of days gone by. His companion thought he should take advantage of the moment and enjoy the silence. Unfortunately though, a question came to mind, and he was dumb enough to ask it.
“So why’d you leave?”
“Well, I just turned 28. Mom and Dad said that I can’t really live with them forever so…. This Porifera set off to make his own way! That, and... It's actually kinda weird to talk about," Bobby scratched the back of his head, showing the first sign of sheepishness since he started his rambling story (despite that stupid smile still being plastered to his face). "But there was this whole thing at work, where I wanted to get the new manager job, but they gave it to somebody else. Something about me not being 'serious enough', even though I got employee of the month for practically an entire year. Crazy, right? I mean, me! Not 'mature' enough to be management material!" Bobby spoke with the most genuine disbelief, as if the idea of him being "not serious enough" was crazy talk. His conversation partner tried to resist giving him a skeptical look, wondering if this was Bobby being serious.
"Absolutely bonkers," he replied back, the sarcasm lost on Bobby.
"Anyway, I guess you could say I moved up to San Diego because I heard there were… bigger fish to fry.” Bobby grinned ear to ear, obviously pleased with himself. “Get it?”
“I got it.”
“Besides, this is a brand new adventure! I’m not gonna be just a fry cook anymore! I’m gonna be a full blown chef! And then maybe, just maybe…” Bobby’s eyes glittered in a way where his new “friend” couldn’t help but feel a little something for him at that moment. “I can make a Pirate’s Plunder of my own someday.” There was a small moment of silence, one that felt genuine in its rarity. The other man paused himself, and let out a small sigh.
“Good for you kid.”
“Thanks!” Bobby squeaked too enthusiastically, ruining the moment. “In the meantime, I’ve got to get my pet cat Gary settled in, meet some new friends… Oh! And find a new dojo! Gotta keep the ka-ra-te skills sharp!”
“You do karate?” The man eyed the other skeptically. The guy looked like he was made out of sponge. There was no way that could be right. “What rank are you?”
“Black belt! Only first degree though. One of my friends back home is a third degree, and whoo! You better look out for her! She could kick me into next Thursday!”
“… Right.” Before the man could voice his skepticism any further, Bobby suddenly jumped a mile in his seat, his eyes growing big as saucers.
“Oh! This is my stop!” He awkwardly leaned over his seat-buddy, totally invading his space to press the yellow “request stop” button next to him. The man let out a small grunt.
“Do you plan on bussing to work every day?” He asked fearfully.
“Of course!” Bobby cheerfully answered, and the man felt his heart drop to his ankles. “I don’t have a driver’s license after all. I know how to do it, I just…” The square-shaped man bit his lip shyly and twisted his foot a bit on the ground. “I just get really, really panicky behind the wheel. Like, slam on the gas and forget I’m in reverse panicky.” True to form though, he immediately sprung back to his perky self. “But that’s not gonna stop me from taking lessons! One hundredth time’s the charm, right?”
The other man didn’t know whether or not he should fake a laugh at that. He seemed so genuine about it that it really could’ve been his one hundredth time. He was saved by the bell though, because the bus came to a halt, and the doors swung open. Robert “Bobby” Porifera sprung up to his seat like he had springs in his legs.
“Well, it was nice to meet you! Hey! If you take this bus every day too, we should totally be bus buddies! Why don’t I sit next to you every day now?” The other man paled.
“You really don’t have to-“
“No need to thank me! The more friends the better! I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, bus buddy!” Bobby gave him a cheery wave and practically skipped off the bus. The newly proclaimed “bus buddy” hunched forward in his seat and buried his head in his hands, dimly aware of someone sitting not too far from him chuckling at his misfortune.
“I really need to buy a car…”
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?: Robert "Bobby" Seaton Porifera's name is a reference to Spongebob himself. "Bob" is a nickname of "Robert", and "Bobby" is derivative of that (because can you really look at this guy and see him as a "Bob"?). "Seaton" means "from the farm by the sea", a reference to Spongebob being a sea sponge (and it's also a nautical pun). "Porifera", meaning "pore bearer", is the scientific Phylum of sea sponges.
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he: Bobby and Spongebob are pretty much the same person personality wise, with a few minor changes to make Bobby feel more like a person. Both are obnoxiously positive and outgoing, with big personalities and voices that make them stand out from the crowd. Both can come across as annoying and childish to people who don't like them, though Bobby exhibits a little more self-awareness about it than Spongebob (though not much). In all honestly, Bobby reflects his musical counterpart a bit more, incooperating the narrative of not wanting to be viewed as "a simple sponge" into Bobby's personality. While Bobby and musical!Spongebob is proud of who he is, he feels the sting of people laughing off him and his ideals, and wants to prove to everyone that he can do big things if given the chance. This also relates to Spongebob's portrayal in the first Spongebob movie, where Spongebob is snubbed for a management position, because Mr. Krabs views him as "just a kid". Bobby has dreams of starting a business of his own, and is inspired to leave home because the people at his previous job didn't take him seriously enough to give him a promotion.
If nautical nonsense be something you wish: Bobby and Spongebob also share common hobbies and interests, even if some things had to be modified for land. Both are fry cooks and very passionate about it (though Bobby has been bumped up to being cook, if only to play into the career mobility in his narrative). They care intensely about their career, and Bobby's first job was at a nautical themed restaurant (pirate themed, specifically, in reference to Spongebob's number one fan, Patchy the Pirate). Both practice karate and both play the ukulele (though Bobby notably cannot play his own nose like a flute). While Spongebob likes jelly fishing, Bobby participates in butterfly catching, another relaxing activity that allows him to connect with nature (and both are compassionate toward the animals they're engaging with). Bobby's pet Gary is an obvious allusion to Spongebob's pet snail Gary, who meows and behaves like a cat. Bobby's love for the 1960s Batman franchise is a reference to Spongebob's love for Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, who are clear references to that franchise in the original show. Additionally, Bobby's spirit draws him to places like the ocean and the aquarium, as he has an affinity for water and sea life for obvious reasons.
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!: Bobby's face claim is Ethan Slater, who is the original and current actor playing Spongebob in "Spongebob Squarepants: The Broadway Musical". He's square shaped, very expressive and physically versatile, and let's be real, he's the perfect human Spongebob. Also the graphics practically make themselves.
Voyeurism, but that's about it. Physical violence is a-okay.other characters